Undercover Briefing File

Saturday, August 15, 2015

Day 1 - The gang's all here!

 Warning: Language

Johnny raced into the Warehouse, cursing his continued string of bad luck.  He was late as hell.  It looked like Big Louie had been waiting for him to arrive, too.

And Big Louie hated to be kept waiting.

He glanced around the room, sizing up the crew.
Behind the bar with a perpetual scowl on his face stood crime boss, Big Louie.  He had his fingers in dealings throughout the tri-state area.  If something was going down, odds were that Big Louie had his hand in it. 
Standing behind his boss with a no-nonsense look was Tiny T.  Although there wasn't anything really tiny about him.
Looking bored as hell was Bambi, Big Louie's current squeeze.  She checked her nails and flipped her hair over her shoulder, shooting a glare towards the only other female on the lot.
Red returned Bambi's glare with pleasure.  If there was one thing she hated more than anything else in the world, it was vapid females.  They gave chicks like her a bad name!
Clustered close to Red were her two underlings - Slick and Butterfingers.  The running joke was that Slick could charm his way into any ladies' wallet while Butterfingers would be more apt to drop it. 
..and rounding out the crew was ... Armando?!
Johnny was still reeling from seeing his old high school friend in the Warehouse when he heard Big Louie barking at him.  He forced his attention to the big boss.
"So glad you could join us, Princess!" Big Louie said with a sneer.  "Now that we're all here. Let's get down to business."  He raked his gaze over the crowd.   "I run a tight ship around here. Now my problem is that the LAW keeps mucking up my runs! That means there's gotta be a snitch. So, NOBODY LEAVES HERE UNTIL I FIND OUT WHO THE GOT-DAMN SNITCH IS!" he bellowed angrily, pounding the bar with his fist for emphasis.

He glared at the crew assembled before him.  "And you know what we do to snitches!"

He tossed a grin over his shoulder towards his enforcer, Tiny T., who cracked his knuckles menacingly.

"Might as well get settled in boys," Big Louie said, ignoring Red's scornful huff.


Johnny wasted no time pulling Armando to the side.  "What the hell are you doing here?" he demanded.  He hadn't spoken to Armando since he'd threatened to beat him to a bloody pulp if he kept stalking Haley back in Sunset Valley.  It still pissed him off that the little twerp had scared her so bad!

Armando rubbed his hands together gleefully.  "What? You think you're the only one that moves in these circles? I'm getting a piece of the pie!"

The good news was that Armando didn't know that Johnny was an undercover agent. The bad news was that  he did know that his name wasn't really Remmy D'Argent.  "Hey, while we're here, I'm Remmy. It's kind of like my code-name," he said.  "It builds mystery. Like Slick... or Butterfingers..."

"Oh yeah! I have a code name, too!" Armando said excitedly. "They call me Weasel!"
Armando blinked, Weasel? God, priceless! Armando really was a weasel!  He thumped Armando on the shoulder. Hard. "Great! You call me Remmy, and I'll call you Weasel!"

"Hey, what are you two girls gossiping about over there?" Slick asked, laughing at his own joke.  Slick thought he was God's gift to the world. 

Johnny shot the idiot a glare and hurriedly moved away.  He pointed his finger in Armando's face. "Don't forget!" he warned.  Good God, he was pinning the success of his mission on Armando's memory.  This was no bueno!


Heading over to the chess table to give him time to formulate a contingency plan, Johnny sat with his back to the crew, but kept his ears open, hoping someone would say something useful to solve his case.


"...And then the hottie looked at me like, 'What? Where'd you get that?' and I was like, 'You dropped it' and she totally gave me her phone number," Butterfingers was telling Tiny T.

"You''re blocking the TV" Tiny T. warned, trying to peer around the cowboy. "Move."

Butterfingers didn't have to be asked twice.
He stepped to the side and came face to face with Big Louie.
He felt butterflies in the pit of his stomach.  "Heeeeey boss," he said nervously.  "Nice place you got here!"
"Watch were you're going!" Big Louie snapped angrily.  "You almost stepped on my feet. Are you trying to get yourself killed?!"
Butterfingers backed up a step, holding his hands up in front of him. "No! I mean, no, Sir!  I am certainly not! P... p... pardon me, Sir!" 

"Useless! A bunch of useless, spineless pansies!" Big Louis railed. "Where's that damn pretty boy?"


"...if you don't mind me saying so, you're looking exceptionally lovely today, Bambi," Slick said with a wink.

Bambi fawned over the syrupy compliments.  
Red saw Slick running his game on the boss' girl and angrily smacked him up against the head as she walked by. 

"Ow!" he complained, rubbing the back of his head.

Red wasn't done yet, though. She grabbed him by the arm and pulled him away from temptation.
"What the hell was that for, Red?" he asked irritably.  He heard Bambi and Armando laughing behind him.  "Aw, geez, Red. I missed it!"

"Get your head in the game, Slick.  Bambi's off-limits!" she snapped.  "Find some other girl to bamboozle."

"Aw, Red, I didn't know you felt that way about me," Slick snickered as Red snorted and walked off.
"Stupid, idiot men!" she grumbled under her breath as she pulled out some hot dogs from the refrigerator.  She couldn't cook worth shit, but she certainly knew how to warm up a few doggies, and it wasn't likely anyone else would do it.


"What's your dealio, Louie?" Bambi whined after Big Louie called her over and started yelling at her.

Big Louie shook his fists in the air.  "What's my problem?" he railed. "You're my problem! You should be over here hanging off my every word and where are you? With that slick, pretty boy!"

"We were just talking!" she whined.

"I've got my eye on you, Bambi. And I swear to God, if I find out you're messing around on me, you'll regret it!"
Bambi glared at her boyfriend and flipped her hair over her shoulder. "I ain't cheating on you, Louie! Even I'm not dumb enough to do that!"


Seeing Armando and Slick talking quietly, Johnny slipped over to the other side of the room to work out on the machine, hoping to catch wind of their conversation.


"She is one fine piece of ass," Slick said, watching Bambi with an admiring eye.

"Who?" Armando asked, following Slick's gaze. "Oh yeah, fine piece of ass," he echoed agreeably. He preferred long, straight, black hair, though.  His thoughts slipped back to Haley and the time he'd seen her through the window taking off her shirt.  He'd been so close to seeing it all, but she'd stepped away from the window.

Slick scoffed, "As if she'd ever mess around with someone like you!"  He flipped his collar proudly.  "We came close a few times, you know."

Armando's eyebrows shot up. "Really? When?"

"Oh, you know, I'm not the type to kiss and tell. That's why the ladies love me!" he bragged.


"Dinner, you bunch of losers!" Red called out, heading to the table with her hot dog.

Tiny T. eyed the offering with a critical eye. 
He wasn't very impressed.  He pulled out a box of macaroni and started prepping his own dinner.


Johnny was just heading over to join the others for dinner when Bambi sashayed over.
"Hey, Remmy," she said in that baby-girl voice she'd perfected.  "I came to make sure you were going to join us for dinner."  She fluttered her eyelashes.

Johnny barely restrained himself from rolling his eyes. "Yeah, I was just on my way."

"Oh! You've been working out!" she exclaimed, reaching out to touch his arm.  "You're so big and strong!"

Johnny jerked his arm away as subtly as he could.  What? Was she trying to get him killed?  "Come on, let's go grab some grub," he said blandly, trying not to give her any reason to latch on to him.
With the lack of chairs in the warehouse, only Slick and Armando were able to sit down to eat.  The rest of the crew just ate from their plates while standing.

Big Louie shot a glare their way.  They should've damn well given up their spot for him. "No damn respect these days!" he muttered under his breath.
As Johnny washed his plate off, he felt someone soft brush up against him.  He closed his eyes and winced, f-ing Bambi.

"Oh, excuse me," she said, as though rubbing up against him had been a mistake.

"Yeah, whatever," Johnny grunted, stepping out of the way.


Johnny walked into the bathroom only to find Bambi in there.  When she saw him, she faked a huge yawn, pushing her chest out.  "Mmm... I can't wait to slip into bed," she teased. 

Johnny averted his eyes.  Yeah, she had the nicest rack money could buy...
"Too bad you can't join me," she pouted, turning to look him straight in the eye, then brushing past him seductively.

Johnny let out his pent-up breath.  Christ, she was going to get him killed!


In this place, it was first come, first served when it came to grabbing beds.  You snooze, you lose.

Bambi & Butterfingers slipped into the bunkbeds in the far corner, while Slick grabbed the bunk bed on the other side.  Bambi was still a little miffed at Big Louie for his tirade earlier in the evening.  And she did not have a problem withholding her gorgeous self to keep him in line.
Tiny T. was disappointed to find that Red had slipped into the double bed.  He shook his head and sighed.  Big Louie wasn't going to like that...


Johnny glanced around the now-quiet Warehouse.  Everyone had found a spot to sleep except Big Louie, Tiny T., Armando and himself.  Looks like it's going to be a long night, he thought irritably. 

And then his night got worse.
"REMMY! Don't think I didn't see you making a move on my Bambi!" Big Louie yelled.
"Look, Big Louie, the last thing in the world I'd want to do is hook up with your girl! Tell her to keep her distance from me!" Johnny snapped back.  Sometimes you had to push back a little to gain their respect.  At least Johnny hoped that was the case. If he wasn't careful, he'd be sleeping with the fishes tonight.

He held his breath as he waited to see how Big Louie would take his talk-back.

Slowly, a grin spread across Big Louie's face.  He smacked Johnny on the shoulder.  "You're a good kid, Remmy," he laughed companionably.  "Can't blame a man for looking, though, can I? You know, I paid for that rack myself!"

Johnny had just started to release his breath when Big Louie dropped all pretenses of camaraderie.  "Touch her again and I'll cut your hand off."
Johnny ambled over to the couch and laid down.  He needed to get some sleep so he could be on his A-game tomorrow.


Armando headed into the "master bedroom" with a smile on his face. 
He peeked around to make sure no one was looking as he watched

"WEASEL!" Big Louie called from the other side of the screen.

Armando winced as Red shifted in her bed, her eyes fluttering open and then closed again, barely registering his presence.
Time to high-tail it!  He hurried from the sleeping area.
"What the hell do you think you're doing in here?" Big Louie demanded.  "Are you sneaking looks at my Bambi?"
Armando scratched his head.  "Umm, no. Red's in there," he said uncomfortably. 

"Well get the hell out of here!" Big Louie hollered. "Ya damn pervert!"  Big Louie shook his head in disgust before stalking away.


  1. Lol. Big Louis is going to make this a fun time isn't he? Ha!

    1. There's something incredibly freeing about playing an evil, hot-tempered criminal kingpin. Lol. You're right, though! I'm only on Day 3 & Big Louie has managed to crack me up each day! (Although, at this point, it's hard to say who my favorite is!)

  2. What a fun bunch of characters! Such a cool premise for an asylum challenge :D Big Louie is great, a perfect Tony Soprano type :D And is Red the same Red from Jesse's days in Sunset Valley? Or just a descendant?

    Really cool how you connected all their random interactions into something meaningful!

    1. SO much fun! Big Louie cracks me up! He hasn't been nearly as mean as I thought he would be, though!

      Red is the same in name & looks only. :) I just loved Red so much, I had to bring her back to the asylum.