Undercover Briefing File

Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Day 3 - Black Market Gnomes

Warning: Language

Tiny T. slugged his drink down, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. 

Butterfingers ambled up and grabbed a drink.  "Heeeeey, Tiny!" he said, saluting the big man with his drink.

Tiny T. just grunted.

Trying to show off how manly he was, Butterfingers downed the drink in one swallow.  The alcohol burned in his mouth and twitched his head in response.  "Whoowie... that'll put hair on your chest! What's in there?" he gasped.  He reached for another drink.

Tiny T. just raised his eyebrows and watched Butterfingers guzzled another drink.

"Yeah buddy!" Butterfingers said as he slammed his empty glass down on the bar.  "Feels good!"
All of a sudden, he bent over and crossed his knees.  "Oooooo...." he moaned as his bladder emptied.
"Amateur," Tiny T. winced, waving his hand in front of his nose.


Johnny grunted in disgust as some jerk-wad turned on the stereo.  He threw the covers off and rolled out of bed.
"It's 6 in the morning people!" he called out angrily.  "Leave the G-D stereo off!"

"Couldn't have said it better," Slick muttered angrily on the other side of the stereo.  "I can't wait until it's broken!"


Big Louie glared across the kitchen as he watched Slick prep a salad for breakfast.  Fricking yuppie, he thought in distaste as he ambled out of the room.
Slick stirred the red wine vinegar into his salad, mixing it up.  He licked the spoon, testing to see if he needed more seasoning.  Mmm, just right, he thought.  "Hey, Remmy, you want some?" Slick asked, holding up the bowl in offering.
Johnny scowled as Slick stuck the spoon back in the bowl.  "Uh, no, I'll pass," he said dryly.  Mental note: do not eat anything slick prepares, he thought to himself. 
He selected two day-old, burned waffles that tasted like fridge and felt like it was an improvement over Slick's morning meal.


Big Louie scrubbed the shower.  "Bunch of damn hippies!" he grumbled under his breath.  He was going to have a stern talking to Bambi.


"BAMBI!" he shouted, close behind her.
Bambi turned around and batted her eyes at Big Louie, thrusting her hip out to the side and her chest out.  Sometimes she was able to distract him from whatever he was mad about.  "Hey baby," she hummed, giving him a come-hither look.

Big Louie saw past her ploy.  "Do you know what I just did?" he asked quietly.

"What's that, baby?" she asked.  Ooo... not good... not good... she thought, taking a small step back.
"I just scrubbed my shower! YOU'RE supposed to be taking care of me and seeing to my needs! What the hell are you doing here if not that?!" Big Louis railed at her.
Bambi's draw dropped.  "You want me to clean the bathroom?" she asked incredulously.  "I don't do bathrooms, Big Louie! Send one of your lackeys to do that!"  She couldn't believe it!  She was young, hot, and sexy and Big Louie wanted her to scrub a toilet!

Nearby, Slick watched the argument unfold.  It enraged him that Big Louie treated her like that.  But, there was nothing he do about it. He was doomed to love her from afar...  If Bambi was his girl, he would treat her like a... a... queen!  Scowling, he threw his dishes in the sink.  Big Louie didn't even appreciate what a treasure he had!


Butterfingers was determined to prove that he could hold his liquor.  He just couldn't actually bring himself to drink again after this morning's embarrassing accident.  So, he came up with the great idea of just standing behind the bar.  Then people would think he was a hard-drinker.  People typically saw what they wanted to see, that's what Remmy always said.
He turned his head and watched Big Louie walk funny towards the bar. 
"What's going on, Big Louie?" he asked companionably.  "Want a drink?" he asked.
Big Louie just grinned evilly as he drew closer.  "BOO!" he yelled, waving his arms around.
Butterfingers stumbled back a few steps, startled and klutzy.  Big Louie cackled to himself as he poured himself a drink.  Sighing heavily, Butterfingers ran his hand over his forehead.  "Oh Lord," he grimaced.  "He got me!"

Johnny clapped Butterfingers on the back companionably.  "I probably would've had the same reaction seeing that hairy chest so close to me."

"Thanks for saying it anyway," Butterfingers said, unwilling to believe that his hero, Remmy, would stumble away from Big Louie in fear.


Johnny slipped from the front door at a time when everyone else was distracted, slipping into their beds.  He hid behind the column, darting a glance back towards the Warehouse a few times before making a break towards the subway.


Consumed with unrequited love, Slick headed to the bar and tossed back a few drinks.  Why did Big Louie have to have all the luck? he wondered unhappily.
Bambi sashayed by, preening like a peacock.  She knew Slick had a thing for her and as long as she was careful, she didn't see any reason that she couldn't enjoy his company.
She licked her lips as she checked him out. Mmm... mmm... mmmm! He was so hunky!
Putting his drink down, Slick hurried to her side.  "Bambi, I can't stay silent any longer," he told her.  "Big Louie shouldn't treat you that way! I'd treat you like a queen!"
Bambi gasped, glancing around. "Slick, you're gonna get us both killed talking like that!" she whispered.

Slick reached for her hand, prepared to declare his love-sick feelings, but she grabbed her hand back.
"Quit it!" Bambi hissed.  Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Big Louie watching them.  If there's one thing she knew about Big Louie, it's that he didn't have any patience for childish humor.  Knowing it would give them a moment alone, she made a face at Slick, giggling when he made a funny face back.

"Damn idiots!" Big Louis grumbled, stalking away to the join Tiny T. on the couch.
"What are we watching?" Big Louie asked.

"Cooking," Tiny T. answered. "I was thinking about trying to make those chocolate cream puffs."

That's the most he'd ever hear Tiny T. say in one sentence.  Big Louie though, glancing over at his big, tough enforcer with wide eyes.  Who knew he had such a soft spot for cooking!  Although, he thought, turning his attention to the screen, those cream puffs looked damn good.
"Bambi! Do you know how to make those cream puffs?" he barked.

Bambie huffed and looked back over at him. "I don't cook," she informed him irritably.

Big Louie snorted with disgust.  What kind of female was she? Didn't clean? Didn't cook? Got mad and didn't put out!  He was starting to think he'd made a bad investment in her....


Johnny left Bridgeport Public Services Building, annoyed that his boss, Romeo Rake, had kept him so long. 

So far he didn't have any information about Mackenzie's disappearance.  He did have a good lead on some black market gnomes.  He'd told Romeo that Big Louie's crew was hiding drugs in the gnomes on the production line.  Romeo demanded that Johnny make it down to the business center to listen in on the crooks' meeting to gather more intel. Ha, it might boost his career, but Johnny couldn't run by the business office to check out the lead. 

Remmy needed to get back to the Warehouse before his absence was noticed!  He took off at a run across the plaza, startling the pigeons that congregated there.

"Johnny!" Bianca called out as she stepped outside the building, trying to slow him down.
Johnny kept on running.  She should've called him Remmy.
Rushing, he jumped the subway turnstile and slipped on a departing train before anyone noticed him. 


Johnny slipped inside and headed straight to the weight bench.  Nobody had seen him slip in and they would likely believe that he'd been working out all these hours. Hopefully.


Butterfingers saw a plate of salad on the table, unattended.  "Is this anybody's dinner?" he asked quietly.  "No? Okay! Don't mind if I do!" He plopped down in the seat and began shoveling the salad down.
When a big shadow fell over the plate, he stopped and gulped heavily. 
"I believe you're sitting in MY spot," Big Louie said sharply.

Butterfingers jolted out of his chair.  "So sorry, Sir!" he gasped, lettuce flying out of his mouth.  "It's all yours!"

Remmy glanced down at the salad flying out of Butterfingers mouth and glanced down at his salad.  Nope. Not gonna eat it.  He set it down on the table and walked away.

"You gonna eat that, Remmy?!" Butterfingers called out.
"Have at it," Johnny said, slipping down to his undies and climbing up into an empty bunk.  "I'm gonna hit the hay."


  1. Do you have in a mod to enable autonomous break-ups/partnering? (boyfriend/girlfriend/fiance?) I'm asking because at this rate I'm counting the days until Bambi gets tired of Big Louis' guff and splits.

    Aw. Slick has a real soft spot there doesn't he? Poor Red. I kinda think she wants him for herself.

    Was that Johnny's first day at work?

    1. Because I didn't want to mess with their relationship levels, I didn't actually make Big Louie & Bambi a couple. They're just a couple in my head until he goes too far (or Slick makes a move!)

      I'm waiting for the day ANY of them have enough of Big Louie's attitude and start beating him up! Lol. It's like they're all ACTUALLY scared of him!

      I would hope Red has enough common-sense not to fall for a guy like Slick. Now a guy like JOHNNY... that's a different story!!

      Yes, first day at work! I didn't even think about how awkward it would be that he disappears for hours on end. Another thing I didn't consider... a computer to write reports... DOH! Getting to the top of the law enforcement career is going to be HARD!

  2. Oh, golly. I wouldn't have remembered that either. Maybe give him a two hour window to go use one at the library every other day or something? That way you're not cheating on the time out of the asylum too badly, but he still has a chance to gain in his career?