Undercover Briefing File

Friday, March 4, 2016

Day 9 - Oh, the tangled webs we weave...

"Remmy!" Red called out anxiously from the kitchen.  "The damn sink is leaking again! GET UP!"

Johnny groaned when he heard Red calling for him.  Dammit. Couldn't he sleep in just one day around here?
He slipped from his nice warm bed and glared at the leaking sink.
Grabbing the wrench, he attacked the leak with a vengence, grumbling under his breath all the while.  Red stood back, staring at him appreciately.   "I always did like a man that could use his hands," she said saucily.

Johnny twisted the bolt tighter and made a face.  "Not now, Red," he growled, shaking the dripping water off of his arms.  He was cranky, tired, and soaked from head to toe.

Red just continued to stare.

He shook his head.  "I'm going to go shower," he said, excusing himself.

Red fanned herself as he walked away.  Mmm... mmm... mmm.... Remmy was so damn sexy!
Johnny hit the showers and washed up.  He was starting to feel somewhat like a human again.
Stepping out of the shower, he glared at the toilet.  Damn thing's been clogged for days and nobody's done a darn thing about it, he thought, grabbing the plunger.  And how hard is it to unclog a damn toilet?

Did criminals have to be so filthy?!

Red had finished wiping the drool from her mouth and headed over to the lab station.  Big Louie dabbled with synthetic potions on the black market.  It was good to keep up the supply. 
Red was just about to add a drop of a highly reactive chemical when Bambi popped up behind her.  "You should be less obvious," she scoffed disdainfully.

"Christ, Bambie! You almost caused an explosion!" she snapped angrily, putting the beakers down on the lab station since her hands were shaking so hard.  "What are you talking about?"

"Remmy's never going to go after a girl like you.  You're not his type!"  She flounced her hair.  "Now, me, on the other hand..."

Red watched Bambi flounced away, perky boobs and perfect hair.  And damn if she wasn't right.  It seemed all the men in the damn Warehouse were idiots that panted after women like Bambi.  She consoled herself with the fact that a) they only wanted Bambi because they thought she was easy and b) she could look even if she couldn't touch.

Johnny was desperately wracking his brain, searching for a clue to connect Mack's disappearance with Big Louie.  There didn't seem to be anything.  Behind him, Big Louie and Bambi were whispering about something.
WaitBig Louie and Bambi were whispering about somethingThey'd been fighting like cats and dogs since they'd been holed up here.  Something wasn't right here...

He needed to dig alittle deeper.

With that in mind, he headed to the kitchen and quickly loosened the nuts on the faucet. He needed a distraction.
"DAMMIT!" he yelled out.  "The sink broke again!"
Big Louie jumped up and ran to survey the damage. "What'd you do Remmy?"

Johnny fiddled with the valves.  "Damn thing is a piece of crap.  We need to replace the whole thing!" he said distastefully.  "I can run out and grab one."
"Do it," Big Louie said.  "But do it quick."
"On it," Johnny said, heading for the door.

Behind him, Big Louie motioned to Tiny T.   Follow him.

"What do you mean, you lost him?" Big Louie demanded.  "You were supposed to be following him!"
"I tried Big Louie, but he jumped the railing and caught the train before I could catch up with him," Tiny T. said.

Big Louie sneered.  "You couldn't jump the railing?"  He threw his hands up in the air.  "Guess we should start calling you Too Big T!"
Tiny T. glared at Big Louie.  "My mother called me big, once.  Once," Tiny T. said in a deadly calm voice. 
"Geez, don't be so sensitive!" Big Louie said, cringing slightly.  Who knew there was a reason they called him Tiny.  It was because he really didn't like being called big!
Big Louie headed to the bar.  Guess the only left to do was wait for Remmy to get back.

"Shit," Johnny swore under his breath as he hurried back with a sink slung over his shoulder.  He'd lost precious hours delivering his report to his boss and then answering questions.  He'd told them to run a more thorough background check on Barbara Bambino, aka Bambi.  Something wasn't adding up.  He'd pick up the report in a few days.

But now the sun was setting and Big Louie was going to kill him for being so late.
Big Louie ambled over as Johnny replaced the sink.  "What took you so long?" he asked.

"Had to go across town to pick it up from the Rehab Store," Johnny said.  "All the sinks at the home repair stores were over $200.  Just trying to save you money."

Big Louie crossed his arms and harrumphed loudly.  "Why'd you slip your shadow?"

"My shadow?"  Johnny asked, pretending surprise.  He'd seen Tiny T. a mile away and it'd been almost too easy to give him the slip.  "You sent someone to follow me?"

"Of course. I hear you've been slipping out of the Warehouse to meet a girl.  What's her name?"

Johnny met Big Louie's eye across the sink.  "Aw, shucks, man. I never kiss and tell," he said sardonically. 

Big Louie narrowed his eyes at Remmy, threatening him with his glare.  But, Remmy remained thin-lipped.

"Find out who Johnny's been slipping away to see," Big Louie instructed Bambi. 
"I hope I'm not interrupting anything," Slick said passive-aggressively.  It hurt to see Bambi and Big Louie whispering in each other's ears.  He quickly walked away.

Johnny was on the phone with his Bianca, aka Tiffany with the water in the shower running.  That should give him 15-20 minutes to chat with his partner.  She got to the heart of the matter in seconds.  "I heard Romeo peppered you for hours about your case. I just wanted to give you a heads up that he's thinking about pulling the operation...."

"The hell he will!" Johnny snapped angrily.

He heard a hand on the doorknob, twisting.
"Gotta go, babe. I just got busted," he said in a husky voice.

"I heard yelling in here and thought I'd check it out," Bambi said with a sheepish grin.

Johnny turned around and shot her a look of disbelief.  "You just wanted to try to catch me in the shower."

Bambi shrugged innocently.  "It's not too late, you know," she said, tilting her head towards the running shower.
"Actually, I was hoping to talk to you," she whispered in his ear.

"About?" he asked with disinterest.
"The thing is, I was hoping to scratch each others' back," she told him.  "I want some time alone with Slick sometime soon."
"How does that involve me?" Johnny asked.

Bambi smiled widely.  "You distract Big Louie for a little bit for me and I'll turn my back when you go visit your girl!  You still seeing that girl from the disco?"

"Nah," Johnny covered smoothly.  "I never date someone longer than a few months."

"Never?" Bambi asked in surprise.  "What about that girl you were living with?"

Her name slipped off of Johnny's lips before he could recall it.  "Mackenzie?"

Bambi's eyes lit up.

"What does it matter. Look, I'm not promising anything.  I know you're not getting along with Big Louie, but you're still his girl.  I'm not stupid enough to cross that just to get some tail."

Bambi trailed her finger down Johnny's shirt front.  "Well you just let me know, sweetheart," she said coyly.
Johnny  headed to bed, shaken from the conversation he'd just had with Bambi.  Dammit, how could he have let Mackenzie's name slip.  He didn't trust Bambi farther than he could throw her.  And he could probably throw her very far in the mood he was in...
"Looking good, Remmy," Red catcalled as he crawled into his bunk.

Johnny grunted.  "You, too, kid," he said back.

"Wait, so you're saying the chicken came first because it woulda had to have laid the egg in the first place?" Weasel asked.

Butterfingers nodded.  "Yeah. See?  I grew up on a farm. I know these things."

"But, wait. Where did the chicken come from if it didn't hatch from an egg?"

The two geniuses stared at each other in confusion.

"Huh. I never thought about it like that," Butterfingers admitted.

"Would you morons shut up already and get out of my way! I want to go to sleep!" Big Louis sneered, tapping his toe impatiently.

Bambi undressed and slipped into the bed with Slick.  Was he in for a surprise tonight, she thought as she scooted closer to him.


  1. Welp. There goes her 'I'm not interested' tack. lol. At least Johnny is in on Bambi and Louie's ruse a little. Hopefully he gets those reports back soon.

    1. Slick is going to be in heaven when he wakes up. :)

      Johnny's a darn good detective! In theory.

      Lol. Sometimes I wonder if he ever makes it out of the Warehouse alive. The way he's progressing, they'll probably wind up spending their whole lives there and I'll have a nursing home full of criminals!

  2. Hey, I just wanted to click on to the next chapter and now I see that there are no more! Boo :( I hope you have time to write more soon - this has been fun to read!

    1. Hehe! I've been slow to update this one! I will play a few rounds in honor of your new asylum! :)